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The Art of Politely Declining a Calendar Invite

By In Technology

The Bare Minimum for Professional Etiquette

Picture this: you’ve just hustled to get your five-year-old to school, stressing him and yourself out, because you had someone ask for an early morning meeting as a favor. You finally pull into the office parking lot thinking you’ve just made it, only to receive a notification two minutes before the meeting starts that it’s been declined. No explanation, no courtesy text, just a simple “decline.” Frustration now leads to expletives and the visualization exercise of physically harming a person. THEY WERE THE PERSON WHO ASKED FOR THIS F&*!ING MEETING.

So, breathe Greg. Channel the anger into something productive. I know… a blog. Let’s talk about how to avoid being that person and how to politely decline a calendar invite, especially if you’re the one who F&*!ING initiated it.

0. Respect People’s Time and Humanity

Before ANYTHING. Before I even write “Number 1”, the you have to realize that there are other human beings in the world other than yourself. They have things to do, people to meet, and places to be. When you do something that affects another human being, you need to think about that, and acknowledge that.

1. Acknowledge the Invite Promptly

Ok, now the actual first rule of declining a meeting is to do it as soon as you realize you can’t make it. Don’t leave the inviter hanging, hoping you might attend. This allows the other party to adjust their schedule accordingly and respects their time.

2. Provide a Reason

You don’t need to divulge your entire life story, but offering a brief, genuine reason goes a long way. A simple “I have a conflicting appointment” or “I need to handle an urgent matter” shows that you respect the other person’s time and that your reason for declining is legitimate.

3. Apologize for the Inconvenience

Acknowledge the trouble your cancellation might cause. A polite apology can soften the blow of the declined invite. Phrases like “I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may cause” or “I apologize for the last-minute notice” are courteous ways to show empathy.

4. Suggest an Alternative

If possible, propose an alternative time for the meeting. This shows that you’re still interested in meeting and that you value the other person’s time. For example, “I’m unable to make the 9 AM slot. Could we reschedule for later in the day or perhaps tomorrow morning?”

5. Use the Right Medium

If the meeting is informal or within a small team, a quick email or a message on your company’s communication platform might suffice. For more formal or high-stakes meetings, a phone call or a detailed email is more appropriate. It demonstrates that you take the meeting seriously.

6. Follow Up

If you’re the one who called the meeting, follow up after the decline. This is crucial. A simple message acknowledging the inconvenience and reaffirming the importance of the meeting can keep the professional relationship intact. “I understand the reschedule may have been inconvenient, and I appreciate your flexibility. Looking forward to our meeting tomorrow.”

Example Templates

Here are some templates that I should not have to write, because they should be obvious:

Template 1: The Quick Decline

Subject: Meeting Reschedule Request

Hi [Name],

I’m afraid I have to cancel our 9 AM meeting due to an urgent matter that has come up. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Could we reschedule for tomorrow at the same time?

Thank you for your understanding.

Best,
[Your Name]

Template 2: The Detailed Decline

Subject: Request to Reschedule Meeting

Dear [Name],

I hope this message finds you well. Unfortunately, I need to cancel our meeting scheduled for tomorrow at 9 AM. An unexpected issue has arisen that requires my immediate attention.

I sincerely apologize for the short notice and any inconvenience this may cause. I value our meeting, and your time, and would like to propose rescheduling it to [Alternative Date and Time] if that works for you.

Please let me know your availability, and I’ll do my best to accommodate.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

Template 3: The Phone Call Script

“Hi [Name], this is [Your Name]. I wanted to call and apologize for needing to cancel our meeting scheduled for tomorrow at 9 AM. Something urgent has come up. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Could we look at rescheduling for later in the week? I appreciate your understanding.”

Conclusion

Cancelling a meeting, especially one you’ve requested, is never ideal. However, handling it with grace, promptness, and politeness can maintain and even strengthen professional relationships. It also shows that you are a human, who actually cares about other humans. Remember, EVERYONE’s time is valuable, and acknowledging that through your actions speaks volumes about your professionalism. So, next time you find yourself in a bind, decline with dignity and respect – if you don’t you’re going to end up .

And maybe, just maybe, save a fellow parent from a stressful morning rush.

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I help companies turn their technical ideas into reality. CEO @Sourcetoad and @OnDeck. Author of Herding Cats and Coders. Fan of squash, whiskey, aggressive inline, and temperamental British sports cars.

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Don’t Fall Into the Trap: Why Startup Software Development Isn’t Like Corporate Development

In Startups, Technology

So, you’ve left the corporate world, and now it’s time to build your own startup. You’ve probably managed dev teams before, overseen product launches, maybe even helmed some fancy project management tools that made everything run like a well-oiled machine. You’ve done this before, right? Not exactly. When it’s your startup, everything changes—and, as I’ll explain, if you assume it’ll work the same way, you’re heading for a few surprises.

Startup founders often fall into a dangerous trap when starting a software project from scratch: thinking it’ll be just like building software inside an established company. Here’s why it’s not—and some advice on how to navigate the differences.

1. Switching from Product Manager to Teacher

In an established company, a software team already has two things that give them a serious edge: an existing market and a deep understanding of the business. They’re working within a proven model. Developers in that environment know what questions to ask, can fill in gaps intuitively, and likely understand why they’re building what they’re building.

At a startup, however, your devs are going to need a whole lot more context. They’re not working with familiar requirements—they’re working with your vision, which may be abstract at this stage. If your development team doesn’t understand why something matters, it’s a recipe for ambiguity and frustration on both sides.

Advice: Think of yourself less as a product manager and more as a teacher. Your job is to make sure they understand the core problems, not just the features. Teach them why each requirement matters, help them visualize the end-user, and create that shared language for decision-making. It might feel tedious, but it’s essential to avoid future misalignment and expensive rewrites.

2. Beware of Perfectionism — It’s the Budget Killer

In a large company, products with an existing user base often have to be polished. Features need to be rock-solid, invoices have to be perfect, and everything needs an audit trail. Startups, however, have a different goal: get an MVP in the hands of users fast. It’s a classic trap for first-time founders—focusing on “perfection” and “polish” before knowing if the business model even works.

Startup perfectionism is budget poison. It’s shocking how quickly adding “nice-to-have” features can chew through funding, especially if you’re paying a dev team to build things like automated invoicing or churn management before you’ve even proven people want what you’re selling.

Advice: Ruthlessly strip down your MVP. If a feature doesn’t help you validate your market, it goes on the “later” list. Keep the scope laser-focused on what helps you test your business assumptions. Let the non-essential features wait until you know you have customers who’ll use them.

3. Zen and the Art of the Startup Pivot

Building software for a startup means embracing one cold, hard truth: the business model will change. According to research, 93% of successful startups pivot at least once (and often more). Imagine being asked to go out and passionately sell something that you know might not look the same next year—or next month. It takes a level of zen acceptance that your original idea will likely morph, but that’s what keeps you flexible and ready to capture new opportunities.

For founders, that requires a mindset shift. You have to believe in your product, while also knowing you might be building the “wrong thing” in some way. The focus should be on preserving capital and brainpower for what’s next. The game is less about proving you’re right and more about staying adaptable.

Advice: Budget with pivots in mind. Set your burn rate assuming you’ll need to make big changes. Don’t let ego get in the way of listening to the market, and keep enough gas in the tank for at least one big strategic turn.

4. The Hard Work of Being Your Own “Internal Customer”

Here’s another big one. In a corporate environment, you have internal customers—departments or stakeholders with specific goals that align with the overall company mission. For a startup, the only customer you have is you. You don’t have a preexisting feedback loop from various departments, and you don’t have established success metrics. You have to create that from scratch.

Advice: Start by building an internal customer profile based on your target market, then use that to set clear goals and success criteria for your dev team. If you’re focused on, say, usability for early adopters, set KPIs around usability testing and build from there. By acting as your own “internal customer,” you’re setting a clear direction and saving your team from working in a vacuum.

5. Get Ready to Build AND Sell

Corporate software development often has the luxury of a separate, dedicated sales team to deliver the product to the right audience. As a startup founder, you’re both the builder and the seller. That means you’re not just iterating on software—you’re iterating on messaging, product-market fit, pricing, and maybe even distribution models.

Advice: Factor in time for sales-ready iteration in your dev cycle. As you build, keep track of how each release or update affects the user experience. Ask yourself if the changes make your pitch clearer or simpler and how they align with the current market’s needs. Ultimately, this approach will help you bridge the gap between building the product and ensuring it’s market-ready.

Conclusion

Building software as a startup founder requires a whole different toolkit than you may be used to. You’re part-teacher, part-salesperson, part-zen master, and always the chief budget officer. By recognizing the unique mindset shifts and traps of startup software development, you’re positioning yourself—and your team—for the best chance of success. Focus on creating clarity for your team, set ruthless priorities, embrace change, and never lose sight of the fact that the first version is just the beginning. In the startup world, adaptability isn’t just a skill—it’s the entire game.