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The Art of Politely Declining a Calendar Invite

By In Technology

The Bare Minimum for Professional Etiquette

Picture this: you’ve just hustled to get your five-year-old to school, stressing him and yourself out, because you had someone ask for an early morning meeting as a favor. You finally pull into the office parking lot thinking you’ve just made it, only to receive a notification two minutes before the meeting starts that it’s been declined. No explanation, no courtesy text, just a simple “decline.” Frustration now leads to expletives and the visualization exercise of physically harming a person. THEY WERE THE PERSON WHO ASKED FOR THIS F&*!ING MEETING.

So, breathe Greg. Channel the anger into something productive. I know… a blog. Let’s talk about how to avoid being that person and how to politely decline a calendar invite, especially if you’re the one who F&*!ING initiated it.

0. Respect People’s Time and Humanity

Before ANYTHING. Before I even write “Number 1”, the you have to realize that there are other human beings in the world other than yourself. They have things to do, people to meet, and places to be. When you do something that affects another human being, you need to think about that, and acknowledge that.

1. Acknowledge the Invite Promptly

Ok, now the actual first rule of declining a meeting is to do it as soon as you realize you can’t make it. Don’t leave the inviter hanging, hoping you might attend. This allows the other party to adjust their schedule accordingly and respects their time.

2. Provide a Reason

You don’t need to divulge your entire life story, but offering a brief, genuine reason goes a long way. A simple “I have a conflicting appointment” or “I need to handle an urgent matter” shows that you respect the other person’s time and that your reason for declining is legitimate.

3. Apologize for the Inconvenience

Acknowledge the trouble your cancellation might cause. A polite apology can soften the blow of the declined invite. Phrases like “I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may cause” or “I apologize for the last-minute notice” are courteous ways to show empathy.

4. Suggest an Alternative

If possible, propose an alternative time for the meeting. This shows that you’re still interested in meeting and that you value the other person’s time. For example, “I’m unable to make the 9 AM slot. Could we reschedule for later in the day or perhaps tomorrow morning?”

5. Use the Right Medium

If the meeting is informal or within a small team, a quick email or a message on your company’s communication platform might suffice. For more formal or high-stakes meetings, a phone call or a detailed email is more appropriate. It demonstrates that you take the meeting seriously.

6. Follow Up

If you’re the one who called the meeting, follow up after the decline. This is crucial. A simple message acknowledging the inconvenience and reaffirming the importance of the meeting can keep the professional relationship intact. “I understand the reschedule may have been inconvenient, and I appreciate your flexibility. Looking forward to our meeting tomorrow.”

Example Templates

Here are some templates that I should not have to write, because they should be obvious:

Template 1: The Quick Decline

Subject: Meeting Reschedule Request

Hi [Name],

I’m afraid I have to cancel our 9 AM meeting due to an urgent matter that has come up. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Could we reschedule for tomorrow at the same time?

Thank you for your understanding.

Best,
[Your Name]

Template 2: The Detailed Decline

Subject: Request to Reschedule Meeting

Dear [Name],

I hope this message finds you well. Unfortunately, I need to cancel our meeting scheduled for tomorrow at 9 AM. An unexpected issue has arisen that requires my immediate attention.

I sincerely apologize for the short notice and any inconvenience this may cause. I value our meeting, and your time, and would like to propose rescheduling it to [Alternative Date and Time] if that works for you.

Please let me know your availability, and I’ll do my best to accommodate.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

Template 3: The Phone Call Script

“Hi [Name], this is [Your Name]. I wanted to call and apologize for needing to cancel our meeting scheduled for tomorrow at 9 AM. Something urgent has come up. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Could we look at rescheduling for later in the week? I appreciate your understanding.”

Conclusion

Cancelling a meeting, especially one you’ve requested, is never ideal. However, handling it with grace, promptness, and politeness can maintain and even strengthen professional relationships. It also shows that you are a human, who actually cares about other humans. Remember, EVERYONE’s time is valuable, and acknowledging that through your actions speaks volumes about your professionalism. So, next time you find yourself in a bind, decline with dignity and respect – if you don’t you’re going to end up .

And maybe, just maybe, save a fellow parent from a stressful morning rush.

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I help companies turn their technical ideas into reality.

CEO @Sourcetoad and @OnDeck

Founder of Thankscrate and Data and Sons

Author of Herding Cats and Coders

Fan of squash, whiskey, aggressive inline, and temperamental British sports cars.

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The State of AI-Coded Software, May 2025

In Software, Technology

I’ll probably regret writing this. At the very least, I’ll cringe reading it in a few months. But here we are.

Lately, we’ve been getting a wave of client requests asking us to evaluate software they built using AI tools. These aren’t engineers. These are business folks using increasingly powerful AI products to try and build functioning systems. And to be completely honest, the results are both impressive and a bit alarming.

People are building whole applications on their own. Backends, frontends, user interfaces, even some database logic. Sometimes they even look good. These are smart people who don’t know how to code but have managed to produce working systems.

The problems show up immediately when we start reviewing the internals. The code is usually a mess. In many cases, it would be extremely difficult to maintain or extend. And if you need to move that code from the platform it was created in to a cloud provider like AWS, you’re going to hit a wall. These platforms wrap everything in layers of scaffolding that make portability a nightmare.

Security is worse. We’ve found plaintext credentials scattered across files. We’ve seen SQL injection vulnerabilities that shouldn’t even be possible in modern frameworks. We’ve seen structural issues that would get flagged in a freshman CS class.

Despite all that, what people are creating are legitimate prototypes. They’re functional. They run. But when you’ve put a few weeks into building something, and you show it to a software engineer, it’s hard to hear that your shiny new thing needs to be rebuilt from scratch.

I want to be clear. I am not anti-AI. Almost everyone at my company uses AI tools every day. We use Copilot, Cursor, ChatGPT, Claude, and more. We build out frontends with tools like v0 and Lovable. These tools have changed how we work.

Some of our engineers report productivity improvements of 30 to 40 percent. That’s not a rounding error. That is a major shift. But they are still writing the code. They are reviewing it. They are checking for performance, clarity, security, and maintainability. They are not letting the tools decide architecture. They are using AI like they use autocomplete or linters, but with more power behind it.

This is also where expectations need to be adjusted. These systems will not save you 90 percent on development. They will not let you skip engineering altogether. But if they save you 30 percent, that’s a real gain. Imagine you’re building a house. The general contractor says it’s going to be $500,000. You tell them you already did the blueprints, filled out all the permits, and figured out the site plan using some AI tools. If they came back and said, “Alright, I’ll knock 30 percent off,” that would be the best deal of your life. That’s where we are today with AI-generated software. A solid start. A real value. Not a replacement.

For me personally, AI has made it fun to write code again. I haven’t been a working programmer in over a decade, and most modern toolchains are enough to scare me off. Now, with the right assistance, I can build something without getting stuck on Docker configs and dependency mismatches. That’s a big deal.

In the startup world, AI-first development is everywhere. Most of the current Y Combinator batch is using AI tools to write the bulk of their code. But those teams are highly technical. These are engineers using better tools, not tools replacing engineers.

So for non-developers using AI to build products, here are three things you should keep in mind:

  1. These tools are great for building prototypes. If you build something yourself, you will understand it better and will be a better partner to your engineering team. That matters.
  2. These tools can help you build usable frontend components. You probably won’t want to go live with them, but they can get you close enough to work with a real development team.
  3. If your app is small, non-critical, doesn’t store sensitive data, and lives entirely in its native platform, you can probably keep it running. That’s fine for internal use or personal projects.

One day, you’ll be able to speak an app into existence and deploy it with a voice command. It will be fast, secure, and beautiful. But today, you still need an experienced software engineer to check your work before you send real data through it. That’s just where we are right now.

The upside is huge. We can now get experts from other domains to build working prototypes and test ideas without needing an engineering team on day one. That’s powerful. But if your product is going to handle sensitive data or support real users, bring in someone who knows what they’re doing. Not because the AI is bad. Because the stakes are high.